Yesterday I attend my first church service at the Queen City Church (the church John Mark and Robin started together). Through out the service I found myself having a hard time to connect. On the third song, John Mark did his new one. The one he did at our school. "Harbor me in the eye of the storm and I'll hold on to the love you soar." Right when the song started I just began to weep. I was back in Johnny and Mel's house with all of us singing that song together. Waves upon waves of missing everyone flooded my heart. I let myself be real. I let everything go and show how I felt before the Lord. Then when I opened my eyes and began to sing. Sing my song! All of you were there. Standing through out the room singing the song with me. It broke something in me.
From releasing to the Lord how I felt about missing my brothers and sisters he showed me something so awesome. You all are in my heart. Everytime I sing. Everytime I speak. Everytime I paint. Everytime I write. You all are with me. So to answer my question from earlier and maybe the same question some of you are having, "Is it possible to have both emotions at the same time? Joy for the new place you are at, and Heart broken for the ones you miss and love. I say Yes. So let your heart feel. Because in that same moment of heart broken the Father is coming to heal and lavish on us. Lets allow ourselves to be lavished on.
I love you all so much!